So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just cropdusted the office
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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