She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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