I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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