It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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