i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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