No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
