he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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