For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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