He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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