just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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