If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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