um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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