There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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