btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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