hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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