after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
