my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
