i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
