Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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