Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
