im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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