i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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