I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
