Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
