New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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