dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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