Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
