this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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