if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
