They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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