There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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