So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
