now i know why i became what i already was.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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