Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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