If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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