I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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