yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize