But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
