Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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