You really coming over, don't trick.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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