can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
