His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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