Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
