U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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