Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
