Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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