I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
