New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
