You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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