Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You ruined the universe
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
