I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dicks are not precious.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
