JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize