I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
