you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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