He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
