Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
