LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she told me i tasted like america
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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