if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
operation harelip BJ is a go
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
